1
00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:03,404
Miss, I'm done here.

2
00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:04,638
Oh, I've been done here
for years.

3
00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:06,774
You don't see me
getting a parade.

4
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:09,543
(generator hums)

5
00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:11,745
OLEG: Oh, looks like
we lost electricity.

6
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:16,584
Uh-oh, all the food in the
refrigerator will go worse.

7
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,519
EARL: Is it a bad sign that

8
00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:22,056
I can actually
see everything better?

9
00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:25,659
Well, we finally found lighting
that made the food look edible.

10
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,528
Yeah, it's almost dark enough
for Caroline

11
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:30,064
to agree to have sex in here.

12
00:00:30,098 --> 00:00:34,034
Max, have you ever seen balls
in light?

13
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:37,605
They're not pretty.

14
00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:40,408
HAN: Nobody panic!

15
00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:42,276
The power is out
in the whole building.

16
00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:47,148
We've got less energy
than a Steely Dan concert.

17
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:48,816
Han, you look exactly like

18
00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:52,220
a Doozer from "Fraggle Rock"
right now.

19
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:54,322
All right, we've got
to keep the diner safe

20
00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:56,290
from hooligans and looters.

21
00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:58,226
You're still on the clock!

22
00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:01,462
And you're on my foot.

23
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:04,732
Sorry, Earl, I can't see you
in the dark....

24
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:09,637
But not in a racist way.

25
00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:12,373
And I can't see you
in the light

26
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,442
in a short way.

27
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:16,844
Han, who would loot this diner?

28
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:20,648
Unless they're looters looking
specifically for disappointment.

29
00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:26,587
Max?

30
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,722
Just taking this vodka

31
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:31,091
and cash register
to a safe place.

32
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,628
(Peter Bjorn and John)
* Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

33
00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:36,430
(cash register bell dings)

34
00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:41,702
* Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

35
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:48,642
Our new dessert bar
is under construction

36
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:49,810
and it's not quite there yet.

37
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:51,345
Kind of like
the credit card bill

38
00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:53,247
I lied about mailing,

39
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:56,917
but I've chosen you two to be
the first to get a preview.

40
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,553
She invited other people.
They said, "No."

41
00:01:59,587 --> 00:02:02,756
She told me there would be
some hard candy.

42
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:05,926
Better be some hard candy.

43
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,362
I have peppermints inside.

44
00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:10,764
Then we're fine.

45
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:16,904
So it doesn't
look like much now,

46
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:19,773
but with a little moxie
and a lot of work,

47
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:21,442
it's gonna be gorgeous.

48
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,711
Like KhloГ© Kardashian.

49
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:27,147
Is that the one
that's a dude now?

50
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:33,321
Okay, where's my treat?

51
00:02:34,422 --> 00:02:35,556
Impressive,

52
00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,525
and you've stolen almost nothing

53
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:39,627
from the diner to do this.

54
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:44,665
Oh, wait, I see my sport coat is
being used as a paint rag.

55
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:47,201
That coat's yours?

56
00:02:47,235 --> 00:02:50,538
I thought it belonged
to a service Chihuahua.

57
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:54,842
Hey, everybody.

58
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:59,813
Oh, yeah.

59
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:02,383
Hubba, hubba, hot stuff.

60
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:03,951
You know,
if I were still single,

61
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:07,288
I'd let you spackle my hole.

62
00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:10,491
You heard what she said,
beefcake.

63
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,792
I'm not gay.

64
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:14,695
I'm just very pro-harassment.

65
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,564
I'm proud of you, girls.

66
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:18,566
You're making
your dreams come true,

67
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:21,569
and my dreams, too,
assuming you'll allow me

68
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:22,703
to start a tab here.

69
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:25,439
I'll never pay.

70
00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:27,908
Does this mean you're not
paying your tab at the diner?

71
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,744
Uh-huh.

72
00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:31,912
Earl?

73
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,282
He walks fast when he wants to.

74
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,017
I gotta get going too.

75
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,852
You know, we just came
from the baby doctor,

76
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:40,621
and he put me on bed rest.

77
00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:44,692
At first I thought
the doctor said, "Bed arrest,'

78
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:47,495
which is one
of my favorite games.

79
00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:49,863
Sophie, what's wrong?
Are you okay?

80
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:52,266
Well, I'm five months along,

81
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:54,335
and the baby
already weighs 15 pounds,

82
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:57,338
so the doctor's just
a little worried.

83
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:59,373
He's afraid it'll fall out

84
00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:02,610
like a watermelon
through a plastic grocery bag.

85
00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:05,646
Come on, baby,
let's get you in bed

86
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:06,980
and get your legs up.

87
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,849
I can't believe none of this
has to do with sex.

88
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,351
Yeah.

89
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:12,886
Knock, knock.
It's Randy.

90
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,422
I got a six-pack...

91
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:18,326
And I brought some beers.

92
00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:20,894
Who wants some warm,
wet, deli beer?

93
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,431
This is why you're
the best boyfriend ever.

94
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,566
Warm, wet deli beer
is the official drink

95
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:28,001
of my personality.

96
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:29,803
So, Randy, look.

97
00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:32,072
What do you think
of the new bar space?

98
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,007
I've got a bar-related question.

99
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:35,943
How you gonna fit in the bar?

100
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:38,546
It's all right here
on the blueprints, see?

101
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,648
The bar goes here,
so that leaves ten feet

102
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,883
for the cafe tables
and the front door entrance.

103
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,486
Uh, you see this
number ten right here?

104
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:49,957
You see the two dashes after it?
Those are inches, not feet.

105
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:54,395
You got 10 inches.

106
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:58,065
First time I've ever been
disappointed with 10 inches.

107
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,570
Well, that's the last time
I get an architect

108
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:06,106
from the "casual encounters"
section of Craigslist.

109
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,808
(knocking on wall)
Ugh.

110
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:10,811
The lady from the pizza place
next door is banging back again.

111
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:13,714
Yeah, they should pay less
attention to our business

112
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:15,416
and more attention to their own.

113
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:17,084
There's so much oil
on their pizza,

114
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:18,986
the U.S. might invade it.

115
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:20,354
RANDY:
You know what?

116
00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:21,689
I think we've just

117
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:22,923
blown past "warm beers."

118
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,525
I'm gonna go get us
some whiskey.

119
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:27,327
10 inches always looks
a whole lot bigger with bourbon.

120
00:05:29,497 --> 00:05:31,699
Oh, my God, Max,
we need more space.

121
00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:34,868
I know; we spend
way too much time together.

122
00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:36,370
Hey!

123
00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:40,474
Enough with the noise,
cupcake bitches.

124
00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:44,512
You gotta stop with this
freakin' racket already.

125
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:47,415
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Calm down, Gina.

126
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:49,683
What, 'cause I'm Italian,

127
00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:52,019
my name's gotta be Gina?

128
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:55,856
It's Angie.
Gina's my middle name.

129
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:59,527
Oh, I thought your middle name
was "bangs a lot."

130
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:02,730
Angie, we're expanding our shop,

131
00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:04,698
and we have a permit
for the construction,

132
00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:06,133
so it's above board.

133
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,636
Which, yes,
even I'm surprised about.

134
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:11,171
You got a permit
to destroy my business?

135
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,508
Nobody wants to eat pizza

136
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:17,911
next to this
constant freaking racket.

137
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:21,515
What's your freaking point?

138
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:23,651
Max, I didn't know
you spoke Italian.

139
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,487
Follow me.

140
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,856
I want yous to see
the hell you're making.

141
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,758
Um, that's a firm pass.

142
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,660
-I'll throw in a free slice.
-Okay.

143
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,835
(video game beeping)

144
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:43,103
See?

145
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,538
See what you're doing
to our office

146
00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:46,474
from all that banging next door?

147
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:48,108
You're destroying it.

148
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,110
Uh, look, you can't
destroy a room

149
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:53,681
that has this strong
of a "hostage basement" vibe.

150
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:56,817
You got cracks,
and falling plaster,

151
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,218
and my brother and I are fed up.

152
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,020
Right, Angelo?

153
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,922
He says, "Right."

154
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,824
He's my twin.

155
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:06,193
We agree with our minds.

156
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:09,563
Um, Angie, when do we get
that free slice?

157
00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:11,632
Not to be pushy,
but a deal is a deal,

158
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:13,834
and today's a carb day for me.

159
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,737
(hammer banging on wall)

160
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,238
What the frig?

161
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:21,942
I just got my hair cut
for our high school reunion.

162
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,477
Now it's ruined.

163
00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:25,112
(hammer banging on wall)

164
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:28,549
It's a frickin' war zone
in here!

165
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:30,951
My father would be turning
in his grave

166
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:34,488
if we'd been able to give him
a proper burial.

167
00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:35,956
How you gonna make this right?

168
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:38,225
Look, Angie and Angelo,

169
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:40,260
we're sorry about
the inconvenience,

170
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,229
but it'll just be another week
of construction.

171
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:44,698
We promise to keep the noise
down to a minimum.

172
00:07:44,732 --> 00:07:46,266
Right, Max?

173
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,636
She's agreeing with her mind.

174
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:51,839
Hey, just came by
to see if everything's okay,

175
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:54,508
and to say I've never seen
the statue of David

176
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:57,077
with a slice of pizza
over his junk.

177
00:07:57,110 --> 00:08:00,247
Who's this hunk of gabbagoul?

178
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,716
This hunk is Randy,
and he's my--

179
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:06,286
Lawyer, and I'm sure he's here
to make sure there's no problem.

180
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,855
There's not problem,
right, Angie?

181
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:11,659
The only problem I see now
is that shirt on him.

182
00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:16,797
Hi, I'm Angie,

183
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:21,134
but I'm thinking about
changing my name to yours.

184
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:24,037
Props,
that's a good line.

185
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:27,140
So, Angie, what do you think?

186
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:29,109
Can you stand another week
of the construction?

187
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:32,112
(clicks tongue)
All right.

188
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:33,914
I'll give yous two another week,

189
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:35,749
'cause of Randy here,

190
00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:38,185
but that's the last thing
I ever do for you two.

191
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:42,022
You, I'd do whatever you want..

192
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:46,026
tonight and in perpetuity.

193
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:47,628
"Perpetuity"?

194
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:51,531
Better not be Italian
for "the butt."

195
00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:00,040
Guys,

196
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:03,577
I have a genius idea
to fix the dessert bar problem.

197
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,647
What if somehow
we could convince Angie

198
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,950
to let us break through the wall
and rent out their back office?

199
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:13,654
Come on!

200
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:16,624
This is a genius idea.

201
00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:19,292
Their business is struggling,

202
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,895
and we could pay them rent.

203
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:23,631
It's either that
or we have to use

204
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,999
dollhouse furniture
for the dessert bar.

205
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,167
You know what?
She's right.

206
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,836
It is a good idea.

207
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:31,371
You just gotta figure out a way
to get on Angie's good side.

208
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,708
Maybe you bring her
a bouquet of cigarettes.

209
00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:37,945
Okay, Caroline, the only thing
Angie likes about us is him,

210
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:40,814
and honestly, the only thing
I like about us is him.

211
00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:43,050
That's perfect;
we should bring Randy over there

212
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,351
when we go ask her.

213
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:47,020
Randy, this has got to work,

214
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:48,321
so wear a tight shirt,

215
00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:50,724
and maybe put a little Parmesan
behind your ears.

216
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:55,863
(video game beeping)
(construction banging)

217
00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,965
Uh.

218
00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:01,368
So, Angelo, any idea when
your sister is getting back?

219
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:04,204
(video game music)

220
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:07,875
Well, it is a long commute
from hell.

221
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:10,310
Oh...

222
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:11,845
Hi, Randy.

223
00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:15,348
I would make out with you,
but I just got a manicure,

224
00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:18,351
and I like to use my nails.

225
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,889
Next time.

226
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:24,391
So we came here
with a business proposition,

227
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:26,694
and some delicious cupcakes.

228
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,061
I'll need the plate back.

229
00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:30,297
Get those away from me!

230
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,966
I'm going to my reunion
in a dress so tight

231
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,068
you could see
the kidney Angelo gave me

232
00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:39,272
from when I had renal failure
from drinking too much Tab.

233
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:43,877
First of all, Angie,
Max and I are so glad

234
00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:46,914
to hear that you pulled through
from the renal failure,

235
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:49,883
but the real reason
we're here is--

236
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,352
did you see Randy?

237
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:53,721
Look, let's move this along.

238
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:54,888
We want to bust
through this wall

239
00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:56,423
and rent your little
pizza hut here.

240
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:57,758
Well, I'm in charge,

241
00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,226
and I'm not renting to yous two.

242
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,861
I don't have time for this.

243
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:03,196
I still don't have a date
for my reunion tomorrow,

244
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:04,965
and this stress
is bad for my face.

245
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:08,368
I already have more filler
than a two-hour "Dateline."

246
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,406
Angie, how does a woman like you

247
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,776
not have a date
for your reunion?

248
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,778
I mean, not to be too forward,

249
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:20,113
but hot magenta
really brings out your eyes.

250
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:23,183
Well, you're not wrong.

251
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:25,953
You know what would be wrong?

252
00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:28,321
If Randy didn't take you

253
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:31,124
to your reunion tomorrow night.

254
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:34,327
Do you want to be punched
in the face with my ring hand?

255
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,029
RANDY: You know what?

256
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,898
That...

257
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:40,300
is a great idea.

258
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:43,971
Angie, I would be honored
to take your to your reunion.

259
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,238
Oh, my God!

260
00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,941
Really?

261
00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:50,811
What about Angelo?
What's he supposed to do?

262
00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:55,448
Angelo, do you want to bring one
of these two to the reunion?

263
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:58,351
They're not my type.

264
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,854
Two fives make a ten, right?

265
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:07,995
Oleg!
(bell dings)

266
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:10,130
I know we don't really
have standards here,

267
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:14,401
but the customer said that
her steak shouldn't do this.

268
00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:21,174
Well, tell her not to turn
the plate upside down then.

269
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,976
I'm FaceTiming with Sophie.

270
00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:24,111
She's lonely.

271
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:27,047
Say "hi" to Caroline.

272
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,917
I'm not that lonely.

273
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:33,220
Ugh, I just scrubbed a table.

274
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,822
That is how upset I am.

275
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:37,390
I should have never let Randy
go to that reunion.

276
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:39,292
And I should have never

277
00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:42,562
let Buddy Holly
get on that plane,

278
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,031
but what're you gonna do?

279
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:47,367
Other than play it
over and over again

280
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,103
in your mind for 60 years.

281
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:52,005
Max, it'll all be worth it

282
00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:54,041
when we get that extra space
for our dessert bar.

283
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:56,543
Why would God make Randy
look like that

284
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:59,146
if not to help us get stuff?

285
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:00,814
I'm worried about Randy.

286
00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:02,482
He is strong,
but she has the strength

287
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:04,451
of ten horny women.

288
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:07,020
Somebody talk to me.

289
00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:09,122
I'm dying here.

290
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:12,425
I just watched all eight seasons
of "Perfect Strangers."

291
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:15,896
I'm--I'm just--I'm--
I'm Balki'd out.

292
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:19,900
I just felt a shift
in the force.

293
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:22,469
Did somebody clean a table
over there?

294
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:23,904
Is everything okay?

295
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:25,906
She's upset because Angie

296
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:27,975
from the pizza parlor next door
needed a date

297
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:30,310
to her high school reunion,
and Randy took her.

298
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:32,379
Well, that's hurtful.

299
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:34,447
I've asked Angie out twice.

300
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,450
They're not
on a real date, Han.

301
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,319
He's just trying to convince her

302
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:40,888
to let us rent
their back office.

303
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:42,923
Randy's wasting his time.

304
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:45,458
It's actually Angie's
delightful brother Angelo

305
00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,060
who controls the lease.

306
00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:49,362
Angelo's in charge?

307
00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:52,132
Angelo's "delightful"?

308
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:55,268
Ugh, I am so bored

309
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:59,472
that I just got a degree
from DeVry University.

310
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:04,011
So she tricked Randy

311
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:05,545
into going to that reunion
with her?

312
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:07,614
(scoffs)
I am going to the high school

313
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:09,382
to get my man back--
oh, my God,

314
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:11,384
I sound just like my mother.

315
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:13,653
We should go there
and sweet-talk Angelo

316
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,288
into giving us the space.

317
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:17,624
Oh, but we're "not his type,"

318
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:19,626
which is a shame,
because I really wanted some of

319
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:22,896
that 50-year-old
video-game-addict money.

320
00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:25,232
Well, where are we gonna
get tacky dresses

321
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,100
and hair from 1986?

322
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:28,201
(gasps)

323
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:30,637
I can make you
look like it's 1986

324
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:34,908
'cause I lived in Poland
in 2003!

325
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:41,248
(upbeat '80s music)

326
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:47,387
*

327
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:49,489
How you doin'?

328
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:53,393
How you doin'?

329
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,695
How you doin'?

330
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:58,198
MAX:
Oh, Jimmy Vecchio!

331
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:01,401
It's Max...Blackilini.

332
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,503
Doesn't ring a bell.

333
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:04,671
What about me?

334
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:06,173
It's Caroline...

335
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:09,009
uh, Cacciatore!

336
00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:12,712
Didn't we take math together
with Mr. Bag-a-two-shoes?

337
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,514
Never heard of him.

338
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:17,317
BOTH: Eh!
-Forget about it.

339
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:20,353
Oh, there's Angelo

340
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:21,654
dancing by himself.

341
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:23,957
No surprise there.

342
00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:27,127
Wow, I've never seen
a sweat-suit tux.

343
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:29,462
Angelo.

344
00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:31,364
It's Max and Caroline

345
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:32,632
from next door.

346
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,301
Um, you probably don't
recognize us.

347
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,403
I'm hoping no one does.

348
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,305
What?
I can't hear you

349
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:40,307
with the babe alarm going off.

350
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:43,443
Whee-ooh, whee-ooh.

351
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:47,314
Oh, well, same to you.

352
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:49,616
What is that, terry cloth?

353
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:52,119
Actually,
we came here to talk to you

354
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:53,353
because we wanted to ask you

355
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,088
about renting out
your back office.

356
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:56,723
We know you're the big cheese.

357
00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:58,758
You know, since you're here,

358
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,460
maybe we, uh, cut a rug?

359
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:04,964
She hasn't cut her rug
in about four months, so...

360
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,070
We could, uh, start off
on the dance floor,

361
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:12,105
and if we happen to end up

362
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:15,275
in the back of
an '86 Cutlass Supreme,

363
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,644
so be it.

364
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:20,647
So be it.
Forget about it.

365
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,082
Excuse us.

366
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,517
Max, I am not a whore.

367
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:28,188
That's not what your hair,
dress, and makeup say.

368
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:31,358
Look, you pimped Randy out
for that extra space,

369
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:32,592
and now it's your turn.

370
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,694
You want that back room,
make it happen.

371
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:37,497
On the count of three,

372
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,632
say "sex."

373
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,569
You handle Angelo.

374
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:44,204
I've been wanting
to kill someone

375
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,773
for using a selfie stick,
and she is the lucky one.

376
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:50,077
Angie, God rest your soul,

377
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,645
get your hands off my boyfriend.

378
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,747
(laughing)
Max, what're you doing here?

379
00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:57,217
Please tell me that's a wig.

380
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,252
She tricked you
into coming here.

381
00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:01,588
She is not in charge
of the pizza place.

382
00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:05,392
Her brother is.
This is my hair.

383
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,194
Angie, is that true?

384
00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,529
Did I do the Electric Slide
for nothing?

385
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:10,797
Well, not for nothing.

386
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:14,367
We came in second
in the dance competition.

387
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:16,536
Okay, fine, it's true.

388
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,671
Angelo's in charge.

389
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,673
My father thought
he was the smarter one

390
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:23,343
because he wore glasses
as a kid.

391
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,146
Randy, are you okay?

392
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:29,682
Did the bad lady touch you
in any of the good places?

393
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:32,185
Look, I'm sorry I lied,

394
00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:34,487
but for what it's worth,
I'm having the night of my life.

395
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:37,824
Believe it or not,
I wasn't popular in high school.

396
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,692
I didn't date a football player

397
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:42,462
or get pregnant.

398
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:45,098
For once, I just wanted
to show up a winner.

399
00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:47,734
-Hey, Ange!
-Oh, no.

400
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,169
Here comes Michelle Pascucci.

401
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,471
Please, don't ruin this for me.

402
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,207
Who's this, Ange?

403
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,409
What's she doing holding
on to your fiancГ©

404
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:59,746
like he's the last cannoli
at a wake?

405
00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:04,417
Forgot to tell you,
I got engaged.

406
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:05,718
Wait.

407
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,588
Unless that's not really
your boyfriend.

408
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:12,359
'Cause, uh, you're known to lie.

409
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:14,527
Well...

410
00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:16,529
she's not lying.

411
00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:19,832
He's been cheating on me
with her for years.

412
00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:23,436
I, uh, caught 'em
at the Olive Garden.

413
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,807
I smell a catfight,

414
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,643
and Drakkar Noir.

415
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:32,779
Catfight!

416
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:35,915
-Oh, come here, bitch.
CROWD: Oh!

417
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,651
-Just follow my lead.
-Okay, careful.

418
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,520
I spent $65 on my hair.

419
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:43,423
I was hoping not to touch it
till next week.

420
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:47,260
-Don't touch my arm, bitch!
CROWD: Oh!

421
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:49,896
Oh, I shouldn't touch your arm?

422
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:53,433
Maybe you shouldn't
touch my guy.

423
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,235
CROWD: [gasps]

424
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:58,238
Finally,
this party's getting good.

425
00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:00,540
(quietly)
Push me back.

426
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,209
CROWD: Oh!

427
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:04,177
Did you just push me?

428
00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:06,913
Yeah, I pushed you,

429
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:10,317
but not as hard as
your boyfriend

430
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:13,486
was pushing me
in the back of the car.

431
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,556
Oh, hell no, bitch!

432
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:18,691
-Now--
CROWD: OH!

433
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:22,662
I told you not to touch my hair!

434
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,864
CROWD: Oh!
-Oh, my God!

435
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:27,700
She's got a freakin' knife!

436
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,769
All right, I'm out,

437
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,904
but only because...

438
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:33,806
I'm on parole

439
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:37,710
for pulling out a woman's bangs
on the F Train.

440
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,812
Let's get out of here, Ange.

441
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,548
Is my hair dented?

442
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:45,252
I'll fix it, hun.
I got a chopstick in my purse.

443
00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:50,690
Get over here,
you sloppy second.

444
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:51,924
Wow.

445
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:54,727
I kind of like having
a knight in shining--

446
00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:57,364
what is this, aluminum foil?

447
00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,899
Well, it is warming up
the ravioli I put in my bra.

448
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,668
(George Michael's
"Careless Whisper")

449
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,736
Max, can I have this dance?

450
00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:08,808
*

451
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:11,578
So you think you and I
would have dated in high school?

452
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:14,681
Well, when I was in high school,
you were in your 30s,

453
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:15,848
so...

454
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:17,784
yeah, that sounds right.

455
00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:21,554
I just convinced Angelo
to let us rent the back office.

456
00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:23,990
I mean, I may have
to be his date to the Auto Show.

457
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,958
Wear something nice.

458
00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:27,960
Like a silk blouse

459
00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:29,862
or a bikini.

460
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,030
*

461
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,733
He wants to show me off.

462
00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:37,504
I never went
to anything like this.

463
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:38,905
A reunion or a prom

464
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,873
or a class.

465
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,409
What do you do at these things?

466
00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:44,911
MICHAEL:
* I'm never gonna dance again

467
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:48,448
* Guilty feet have got
no rhythm *

468
00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:50,783
* Though it's easy to pretend

469
00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:53,453
* I know you're not a fool
(cash register dings)